Entry

(in the black spiral notebook)

Another day, another pen on the page.
What should I tell myself today?
I’m hungry.
Physical necessities are such a nuisance—
the need to eat, sleep, and make people like you.

And so we write to get outside of what we feel.
I’ve known all along:
Paper and ink are the only medicine
for the raging thoughts of a reckless mind.

Speak to yourself.
Preach to yourself
Let your hidden desires make themselves known.
Let them out of your heart and into your head and think.

Govern your loves.
Once you’ve understood them,
arrange them in order of importance,
but give them a chance to explain.

Some people go through life never knowing,
not even trying to know,
what they feel and why.
Some people don’t think.
Some people don’t love.

Do we live to love or live to think?
In order to love fully,
you must fully contemplate.
Not the feeling, but the reason for it.

Get out of the way and see what is other.
Think without the “therefore I am.”
It’s difficult and perhaps Sisyphean,
but trying is worth it.

***

“The heart is deceitful above all things, who can know it?”